Friday, April 5, 2013

On the Road Again

We're on the road again!

Oh this road is so familiar to me. I remember that little side street that we got lost on the first time. And that tree! That's the tree I desperately clung to when I didn't want to move anymore! Ohhhh, and that pond. We sat there and had a little denial picnic once. It was lovely.

Wondering what kind of strange road I'm talking about? A road that is familiar to many of you- the road to a diagnosis.

Yes, we're going public with this. Vlad seems to be on the spectrum. And we find ourselves traveling this road yet again.

It is slightly different than it was. There are new bumps and detours in this road, because each journey has been different. This time around there has been no regression, no terrifying halting of skills. It started with a feeling. A worry. By 8 months old we could see delays. And as time goes on we just see, more and more, almost every red flag there could be. Now, at 14 months old, we are sure. And he has an appointment for an evaluation at the end of May.

This is the hard part. The waiting. Even though I'm sure, I can't help but be anxious. I just want it over with, official, so we can move on with the business of accepting it and getting him the therapy he needs. And dealing with the inevitable emotional fallout.

So, why am I putting this out there? Without an actual diagnosis even? Because this blog is a form of therapy for me. And I feel like maybe this needs to be public. That people need to see what this is like, this long and often lonely road. Yes, we've been down it twice before, but that doesn't make it any easier. In fact, that may make it even harder.

When we first had kids, I never thought in a million years that we would take this road once, never mind three times. But I'm blessed, because I was taken under the wings of other women who walked the road before me. And now they walk beside me, hand in hand, supporting me. That's the only way to make this journey and maintain a scrap of sanity. So, join with me now. Hold my hand. I need you. He does too.


  1. All I can say is, I wish I was there to hug you. I love you, and I know you are blessed and so are your children. Love you friend.

  2. You must be one helluva mama since God entrusted these three gifts with you. Hang in there. I am very proud of you.