Friday, April 26, 2013

More Than Roommates

In case I haven't already made it abundantly clear- Parenting is hard.
Parenting three kids is black belt difficulty.
Parenting three special needs kids is ninja warrior insanity.

The last time we had a family picture- February 2012!

But you know what makes it just a tad bit easier? Having a partner, your best friend, right there in the midst of the chaos with you. I couldn't do this without The Husband. I have a fellow special needs mom friend whose husband is serving our country overseas....she deserves a medal. Or sainthood. Or, even better, a week vacation in the Bahamas, all expenses paid.

Now, I can gush for a decent amount of time over The Husband. He is an awesome father, a supportive husband, and has these blue eyes that still make me a little weak in the knees. But that doesn't mean that we are immune from the realities of LIFE.

He's seriously dreamy

We both work from home, which is much more stressful than it sounds. There are three kids going in different directions every day. Meetings for one thing or another seem constant. Some days we are swapping kids and swapping info and I go to bed that night and wonder- Did I give him a kiss today? Did we touch at all? Did we talk about anything other than our schedules and the funny meme we saw on facebook?

Sometimes the answers to those questions are "NO"

The easy days, just one kid!

If you've been married for more than a month, you know that marriage is hard work. Communication is key. Quality time together isn't a luxury, it is a necessity. Stop spending time together, stop enjoying time together, and just see what happens. It's amazing how quickly you scan start feeling annoyed and frustrated about what, in the end, are minor issues. It's crazy how, in no time at all, you can begin to feel distant from the person you call your soul mate.

Don't mistake what I'm saying here. My marriage isn't "in trouble". There is no Seven Year Itch here. We are just suffering from the same malaise that many couples experience from time to time. But I see the big picture, I see our lives, and I know that we can't simply say "Oh, we'll have a less crazy schedule next month, we'll make a point to go on a date and we'll be okay." Our lives seem to just get more complicated, more jam packed with care taking and obligations. And if we aren't careful, we can end up roommates. Two people who share a home, share a table, but don't truly share their lives. We're not there, we're not even close, but I've seen it in other couples and it terrifies me enough to know I want to make sure my relationship is about a mile from even the danger of that.

I did not sign up for a roommate. 
I want a best friend. I want laughter and passion and joy! And goodness know that with the stresses of a myriad of IEPs and FSPs , we deserve some laughter, passion, and joy!

I've never been more proud

So, what's a girl to do? There is never going to be enough time, enough money, or, you know, less kids. There have been times when my Saint Parents take the older two kids for a long weekend, but we end up staying home and doing tons of laundry, catching up on work, and attempting to wipe off at least the top layer of grime in our apartment. Hardly relaxing or connecting activities. 

What we need is a plan. Like, a weekend getaway to a B&B. Or, even better, a week.

Okay, okay, so what we really need is a miracle!

I don't know what we'll do, but I do know that I will have to figure it out. I have to figure out a way for two very stressed out, very overscheduled, very broke people to have a romantic getaway. Our marriage is too important. We need that time to reconnect so we can come back and be better partners and parents. If you have any ideas, by all means, share them with me!

He's my love, my best friend, my partner in crime. I don't want Kids, Autism, and Work to change that. I won't let it.

We were babies! We were naive! It was perfect.

1 comment: